Body In One Place, Mind In Another

My first day home was more than strange. I woke up startled to be in my own house and more startled by the fact that I didn't need to repack the bike and move on to the next place. I had not really considered how it was going to feel to be home and do things like drink coffee from my favorite mug and sit on the porch and read the daily meditations with Mandy again. Then to be able to walk to the fridge and get a cup of yogurt to eat and not have to pay anyone for it or worry about what someone might think even if they did say, "Help yourself to anything in the fridge." There is a tremendous freedom in being home that I had taken for granted until I didn't have it for two months.

Shortly after waking up my mind was spinning. One minute I was drifting off thinking about all the experiences of the trip and how wonderful it had been, and the next minute I was in a panic about money and what I was going to do now that I was back. I had the distinct feeling that I should have been busy looking for work first thing in the morning, and that soon I would be totally broke and unable to make rent. I had done a pretty good job of quieting the voices while I was on the road, but now that I stationary again my mind took over that energy and ran off with it.

Then Mandy reminded me that I had just gotten back form a life-changing adventure and it was OK for me to feel that way, but I didn't have to fix it all right now. She also helped me remember that there are some things that I need to do related to the trip and those take priority. I needed to be fully here before I could be here. With that thought I got busy writing about the last couple of days so I could get the blog up to date. A lot had happened so it took me the better part of the day to get it all done. The result was that I felt accomplished and my mind was here instead on on the imagined impending disaster of the future. Thank you, Mandy, for reminding me (again) that action is the key! You're awesome!

In the afternoon Mandy and I went to visit Margie, my surrogate Seattle mom, and I am so glad we did. Margie has seen me through a lot of things over the years and always been a terrific support and I was ecstatic to hear her say that she and Mandy had had a wonderful time together while I was gone. "The more time I spend with her the more I like her," she said. It means the world to me to have her support in this next adventure. Thanks, Mom!

When we got home Mandy cooked my the most wonderful meal. Nothing fancy, just pasta and bread, but my taste buds and belly were happier than they've been in…well…two months. Another thing I had totally taken for granted - Mandy cooties in the food.

After dinner we went out to the Lynnwood Study Group together. It was again wonderful to look around the room and see familiar faces. We read out of the book for a bit, and that focused our discussion on making amends and the importance of making the right ones at the right times. It was another reminder to me that none of us are ever done with this work, and that my real spiritual growth began when I start clearing up the wreckage of the past and striving for a better future. Thanks, LSG!

When the meeting was over I had the chance to catch up with Orvin, Margie's ex-husband and my surrogate Seattle dad. We talked a lot about the trip and he was such a dedicated reader of the blog that at points I felt like he knew more about the trip than I did. It's wonderful to be home with the Seattle family again.