50,000! Really?!

What a crazy few days!! Early Friday morning I got a call from Mike, a friend from California that I was going to share a room with. He and I talked for a bit and he decided that he was going to spend the weekend with his family at home and not come to San Antonio. We talked about the importance of listening to the whispers and doing the next right thing. Then he told me that he had already paid for the room, and that I was more than welcome to keep it even though he wasn't coming! Only in our club could something like that happen! It is a favor that I am not sure I will ever be able to repay. Thank you, Mike!

I had no idea what I was getting myself into by coming to this convention. Walking around San Antonio there was a sea of people all attending the convention and here for one primary purpose. Incredible!

The most amazing thing happened after I registered and was ready to wander around. I went to the information desk and I asked them where I could find a meeting and they had to look it up!! I was just looking for the closest thing I could find to a regular meeting. I appreciate the value in a panel of speakers in a meeting, but I still believe that the real magic happens in a plain old discussion meeting.

In any case, I found the closest thing, and it was still a podium meeting. The room was packed with people from wall to wall. At one point, and I am not sure when, or what the guy was talking about, I was overwhelmed by a feeling that my mom should be here, and that I miss her.

The truly miraculous part about being here is that I feel like I can talk to just about anyone, because we have this common bond that ties us together it makes approaching someone incredibly easy. During the ride from the hotel to the big opening ceremonies meeting I talked with Junior from Newfoundland. I was amazed at the number of topics we were able to cover in that 40 minute ride. We also spent some time talking with a woman from Italy, and she pointed out the idea that each one of the people here has a family that has been restored, has become a productive member of society, and has a peace and serenity in their lives that carries on to others around them. The ripple effect is tremendous. It's a wonderful thought to ponder in mediation in the presence of all these people.

I met up with Dick and Tammy from home for the big meeting and it was nice to see some familiar faces. Like the meeting earlier, I got far more emotional during the meeting than I thought I would. For some reason the flag ceremony starting with a member of the Apache Nation got me going. Something about it made me start to tear up a little. Then the moment of silence got me too. There is something about 50,000 people (really, 50,000) being absolutely silent that is tremendously powerful! Then at the end of the meeting I really started to lose it when we all said a prayer together and someone performed "Amazing Grace." Again, I wished that my mom could have been there for that, despite the fact that she would have hated being around all these people. It's almost too much for me, and I am far better at it than she ever was.

As we filed out of the stadium I was feeling a little lonely and sad, when I saw a woman standing on a bench with a "Free Hugs" sign around her neck. I asked her for one, and it was just what I needed. I felt immediately better. It was so nice, in fact, that I went back for another. She asked if I was having a rough night, and I told her that I wished my mom could have been here and I lost it again. She let me cry on her shoulder for a bit and introduced me to her friends. I felt better being among them and am incredibly grateful to Liz and her friends for being in the right place at the right time to be giving out free hugs to the guy who needed them.

I found my way back to the hotel on night on exhausted but feeling grateful and serene.

Saturday started a little slower for me here at the convention. I needed some extra rest and time to myself. I finally made my way to the shuttle a little before 2 o'clock. Now, I still haven't really learned about reading directions yet, so I was not aware that the shuttle was not supposed to run until 3. It turns out that the driver was taking a new trainee around the route to show him the way, and they showed up when they weren't supposed to. That was when I found out that 3 was the magic time, and when we got to the transfer station the next bus really wasn't going anywhere until 3 so I had some time to kill, which was good because I was hungry and not at all interested in convention center food.

When I got to the conference I went to a meeting for a bit and then was alone again to try to find something to do. That was when I remembered that Paul, a guy I'd met in Boston was around somewhere. I found where he was and went to hang out with him. I am not sure I can express how grateful I am to have had the opportunity to hang out with Paul and the rest of the Boston Crew that night. There is something about all you Boston guys (and gals) that makes me feel I'm part of the family even though I just met you. Thank you all for being real and being there right when I needed you. I don't know that I can ever thank you properly.

The big meeting today was an old-timers meeting and all the speakers had 40 or more years. All told there were over 575 40+ year-olds in that building and the energy was great again. Again I got choked up a few times, but I guess I was supposed to.

On the ride home I met some other young people and had the opportunity to share with them how beautiful Mandy's and my relationship really is. The friendship we have developed is like no other I have ever experienced, and I miss her terribly. I do, however, really enjoy the fact that she and I have relationship that allows us to have our separate lives and separate recoveries that meet in the most joyous place. Thank you for being the coolest girl on the planet, Mandy!

Sunday here in San Antonio I was spent. I had been on social overload for too many days in a row and so I spent quite a bit of time at the hotel. I learned that I am not the best convention attendee because I am not willing to keep going once I get overloaded, and then I start to think that maybe I didn't get my money's worth. But I felt satisfied with what I did and what I saw.

The big meeting was in the morning and I went down to it on three hours of sleep because Susie from Boston told me I had to, and someone told me a long time ago that if someone says you need to be somewhere then you should be. The speakers were some of the best of the weekend and I had a chance to say goodbye to the kids from Boston. That was perfect, but I needed a nap after.

I got in a short nap and then went to take a photo in front of the Alamo with all the other folks from Washington. It was neat to see how many of us showed up!

The rest of my Independence Day was spent trying to rest my body to get back on the road. I saw a glimpse of some fireworks from the window of my room, and had some Texas BBQ for dinner. It felt nice to relax and it will feel even better to spend some time on the road alone again...

P.S. Out of respect for our spiritual foundation I will not post any photos from the convention. Sorry, guys.